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Joke of the Day

"What did the baby light bulb say to it's mommy? I wuv you watts and watts!"

"Why does little Timmy keep throwing up gang signs? Because he ate too much of them."

"Why does the farmer hate his job? because he has a deep-seeded hatred for planting."

"My relationships never worked, because I like my women how I like my coffee... I don't like when my coffee fucks other people."

"What do you call a group of singing people floating around in the ocean? An acappellago"

"A guy told a story about a creeper who got too close to him in /r/minecraft. It blew up. I'll show myself out."

"What did the dope dealer say after he got a colonic? I don't got shit."

"Him: God you smell good, what is that? Me: chicken nuggets"

"Joke of the day Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say. Doctor: Next please!"

"My boss is so nit picky that he's not even a micro manager... ...he's a quantum manager."