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Joke of the Day

"I'm Jealous of my imaginary friend because he has a real friend"

"If Pokemon has taught me anything it's that if I see a cute animal I should force my cat to fight it until it's weak enough to enslave."

"What's a bodybuilder's favorite fight of the American Civil War? The Battle of Gaine's Mill"

"When grocery shopping, I only buy foods that can also be used as a weapon. Cantaloupe is a good example of this."

"When will forms stop asking me if I'm Mrs, Miss, or Ms and realise I'm an @?"

"My mute grandfather always said:"

"Watching my kid pick his nose is disgusting. He wipes the boogers on his shirt instead of the closest cat like a normal person."

"Roses are red, I have a phone, no one texts me, forever alone."

"Me- ""Sorry I can't"" Friend- ""Why not?"" M- ""Working on my book"" F- ""Neato! What about?"" M- ""It's a collection of ways to escape obligations"""

"TIL: To never trust a fart."