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Joke of the Day

"Fresno. I want to live in Fresno, because it rhymes. Rhymes with what? Because I said so."

"I could never join the army because I'd never be able to figure out what time it is."

"The fact that crocodile ate your enemy, does not make him your friend."

"Why does Pinocchio lie? Because he's a fucking liar."

"A Ginger's skin goes... ""YOU... SHALL NOT... TAAAANNN!!"""

"Saw a homeless white girl begging for money. I didn't give her any, because I know how they are, always blowing it on Starbucks."

"Me: Did you know avocado improves Brain function?' Kristen: 'Mom you eat it all the time and I haven't seen ANY improvement.'"

"I dig, She digs, He digs, They dig, We all dig.... Its a beautiful poem....very deep."

"My girl friend wanted a nose job... So I tried. But her nostrils weren't big enough."

"Why are pirates always angry when they go to the restroom? Because they p-irate."