175892

Joke of the Day

"Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend ? They were both driving their cars at the time !"

"Q: What's green and sings? A: Elvis Parsley."

"When a man hates takoyaki Does it mean it is takoyucky?"

"Son: ""Mom, Dad, I'm gay."" Mom: *Stares at Dad* Dad: *Clenches fist* Mom: ""Don't!"" Dad: *Sweats Profusely* Mom: ""..."" Dad: ""HI GAY, I'M DAD"" Edit: Yay top of r/jokes, #lifegoals Also formatting"

"The free sample lady just asked if I'd like to try some slow roasted pork loin and then did a hip thrust at me."

"What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't cry when you chop up a hooker."

"I recently met someone who told me that he couldn't smell. I don't think he nose what he's missing out on."

"""Look we LOVE the script for 'Murder Bees', just change the name to 'My Girl' and you've got yourself a movie!!"""

"I can't get hard unless I can hear a gluten intolerant person weeping over a menu."

"What do you call cheese that's not yours? NACHO CHEESE!"