158367

Joke of the Day

"Pete and Marco Rubio are on a boat. Pete falls off. Who is left? Marco Rubio"

"Did you know there's a movie called ""Constipated""? It hasn't come out yet."

"I'm at my most British when the Benny Hill theme song plays while I'm half naked & being chased by my TC's wife who found me in his closet."

"What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner? Cow chow!"

"Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered six offender! Badum dum tiss"

"What's it called when Batman leaves church early? Christian Bale."

"What's red and invisible? No tomatoes"

"I love that we're a nation of diversity: a black president, a white vice president, and an orange speaker of the house. #SOTU"

"My girlfriend became depressed because she thought she was a failure and was letting me down. Encouragingly, I told her, ""If at first you don't succeed, keep sucking until you do suck seed."""