158362
Joke of the Day
"Why does /r/jokes love fencing? They've all mastered the riposte."
Next Joke
"[bank robbery] ""Todd, where the hell is the getaway car?"" TODD: *zooming up on a Segway* FOSSIL FUELS ARE RUINING THIS PLANET, GARY"
"Who named the Sperm Whales? Seamen."
"My husband and I are fighting. There's about a 50 50 chance he knows."
"Some cats just sit there looking at you like you owe them money."
"I watched ""The Edge of Tomorrow"" hundreds of times there seems to be an awful lot of alternative endings though."
"Great pickup line... You:Hey, do you have a Memory foam mattress? Her: Yes. You: Wanna Traumatize it?"
"Why don't tampons talk to maxi-pads? Because they're stuck-up cunts."
"Q: Why didn't the grizzly wear any shoes? A: He wanted to go bear foot."
"How do you greet the cold horse across the fence? Howdy Neigh - Brr Made up by my 4 year old son."