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Joke of the Day

"The real reason Jesus died on the cross He forgot the safeword."

"If you don't know, please ask. If you don't agree, argue. If you don't like it, please say it. But don't sit there quiet and judge me."

"I should write a personal apology to the employees of the sewage treatment plant for what I just sent them."

"I wonder where my brother is, his lunch is getting all cold ... ... ... and eaten.."

"I think my cats hate people as much as I do. Every time the doorbell rings, they hide under the bed with me."

"My superpower is being able to talk to dead people... they can't talk back, though."

"What do you call a letter written by a feminist? Hate male"

"I hate two-faced people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first."

"Hey lady I have bad news for you someone thought your hair was noodles and left their chopsticks in it."

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo? I've never had a garbanzo on my face."