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Joke of the Day
"I'm going to bed and my hair looks amazing; I feel like the woman in every mattress commercial."
Next Joke
"How do Muslims cook their eggs? Sunni side up."
"Two Russian pilots in Syria - Hi, what have you been doing today? - Bombing the ISIS headquarters... - Which one, the main headquarters? - No man, the main headquarters is on the other continent..."
"""i wouldnt be caught dead"" someone throws a net over my dead corpse ""gotcha!!"" ""noooo"""
"HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE: It takes 24,637 BOLTS to put a car together, but only one NUT to spread it all over the road. Don't Drink & Drive!"
"Oxygen atom was looking for threesome. Poor guy got ozoned"
"They should have cast Daniel Craig in the 50 Shades of Gray movie They could have named his character James Bondage"
"[Sunday morning] *congregation of Catholics disagrees with priest and walks out of church* - mass unfollowing"
"Open Relationship My girlfriend and I have been in an open relationship for about a month now. She is still yet to find out.. On the plus side, her mother and I have gotten much closer!"
"Why haven't they installed a mirror on cars that only covers your blind spot?"