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Joke of the Day
"I'm going to bed and my hair looks amazing; I feel like the woman in every mattress commercial."
Next Joke
"If you were anti-pencil Would you be erasist?"
"Pork is awesome, but it's best when used as a verb."
"I walked up to a girl and said, ""If you were a drug, I would overdose!"" She said, ""Thanks."" I said, ""Then you wouldn't be able to ruin my life any more."""
"Did you guys here the Twins signed Adrian Peterson? Word is they needed a switch hitter..."
"I put suicide notes next to roadkill so their animal families have some closure."
"What do Syrian refugees eat for breakfast? Syrial!"
"Waits for the worst possible time to tell you that they have to pee... ~Kids"
"A man was stabbed in the stomach in an alley... he was gonna punch him back, but he didn't have the guts."
"Why don't Baptist preachers color their hair? They just pray the gray away"