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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to get a 100 dollar bill tattooed on my dick. I mean, what woman wouldn't blow a hundred dollars?"

"Why is marriage is like an alarm clock? After the ring, you wake up!"

"Contrary to popular belief, the most common use for electrical tape is to cover up goth nipples."

"Patient: I always see spots before my eyes. Doctor: Didn't the new glasses help? Patient: Sure now I see the spots much clearer."

"Women want to be equal to men in every aspect except dating. You all want the same positions in the rest of the world but still expect to be wined and dined. How about steaks and bjs for the guys."

"They laughed at me when I said I will become a comedian Well...now they are not. Wait..."

"There are three types of people in the world. Those that understand math and those that don't."

"What do Catholic priests and the Zika Virus have in common? They both give kids a little head."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never paid $100 to have a lentil on my face."

"My boss was honest with me today as we walked into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family."