158194

Joke of the Day

"I don't delete annoying people out of my phone. I give them new names so I know not to answer. ""Always needs a favor"" is calling, decline."

"What did the Headless Horseman ask his colleague at Bad Guys Inc.? What do I have to do to get ahead around here?"

"""It's not you, it's me. "" - twins looking at family photos"

"How can you tell when an Italian car has a flat tire? Dago wop wop wop"

"I like short logarithm equations... I guess you could say that I'm a ln-icon."

"What's the difference between America and yoghurt? If you leave yoghurt alone for 200 years it develops a culture."

"My ex asked me what would make her new shoes look more sexy. ""Give them to your sister,"" was apparently a relationship breaking answer"

"The most important thing in life is to be yourself, unless you can be Batman...always go with Batman"

"Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride"

"Don't worry about what people think. They don't do it that often."