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Joke of the Day

"I had sex with a guy last night and he was gone the next morning. Funny how people just come and go in your lives."

"Some days I'm more on than off, but most days I'm just a moron."

"A husband says to his wife ""I bet you can't tell me something that will make men both happy and sad."" She says, ""You have the biggest penis out of all of your friends."""

"What will Gene Wilder's last will and testament will say? YOU GET NOTHING! Yeah I'm going to hell."

"I just got invited to a Game of Thrones themed wedding I think those bastards are going try to kill everyone"

"Kim Jong Un recently banned the blues scale... He hates Seoul music"

"What do you call an overpriced circumcision? A rip off."

"I only act to support my waitressing career."

"boy: you have really pretty eyes... me: *suspicious* thank you...??? boy: *leans in slowly* me: NO!!!! You cant have them!!!!!"

"I have to find a new personal trainer. He didn't do squat(s)."