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Joke of the Day

"The 1st cup was used in 1874, the 1st helmet was used in 1974. It only took 100 years to learn our brain is also important."

"CVS clerk: Receipt? Me: Sure *God uses 2 fingers to gently close the eyes of an entire rain forest*"

"I hate when I drop my chili cheese dog in my car and then I have to eat my whole car."

"My dog plays this fun game where she holds her bladder until she gets inside the house"

"What is a British woman on her period? A bloody cunt."

"Why are there so few Mexican athletes in the Olympics? Because most of them who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States."

"Q: What do you call a cow with a hysterectomy? A: Decalfinated."

"What does a menopausal Vietnam vet suffer from? Hot flashbacks"

"I learned that Honey Bees in the United States developed a form of electronics - they're called U.S. Bees."

"What do you call a play about a dictionary? A pun!"