199432

Joke of the Day

"Hmm. Nissan Altima TV commercial boasts NASA inspired zero-gravity seats. But if you're in zero gravity, you don't need seats"

"What is made of Brass and sounds like Tom Jones Trombones!"

"That uncomfortable feeling when... You're at the doctors office getting your prostate checked and notice both of the doctor's hands on the table next to yours."

"What do you call the drummer that just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless."

"People keep telling me i'm self-deprecating. I don't think i deserve that."

"*tries several times to connect to the internet using a dial-up modem* *reaches #1 on the dubstep charts*"

"True false tests Why did the school principal forbid the use of true/false tests? It was part of the school's anti Boolean campaign."

"*Pauses Titanic during the most romantic part* *Turns to GF* ""You know, Contra was really easy. But I still liked using the 100 life code"""

"My wife bought me Dunkin Donuts k-cups for my Keurig... Now, it's like I finally have an Indian in the Cupboard."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea I won't pay 200 to have a lentil on my face"