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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a smug criminal going down stairs? A Condescending Con Descending."

"I just told my brother he was adopted, his response was, ""At least they picked me"""

"How does Batman's mom call him home for dinner? She doesn't because she's dead."

"Did you hear about the ghoul's favorite hotel? It had running rot and mould in every room."

"*First date. Her. ""Shall we carve our names onto this tree"" Me. ""You brought a knife?"""

"Whenever I meet a new girl, I introduce myself by shaking hands with my left hand. I don't want her to meet her competition right away."

"what's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? the taste."

"[ER] HIPSTER: I fell off my acoustic motorcycle & broke my mustache twirler. DOC:... H: I fell off my bike & broke my hand. D: Rub kale on it."

"I like dating black girls... Because I don't have to meet their dad."