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Joke of the Day

"Making jokes on Twitter is a lot like making jokes in real life. Except without the frightened faces of strangers on buses"

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"Life like potato... Only have one, then soldier come and take."
"If a deaf person has to go to court is it still called a hearing?"
"What did the octopus make for desert? ...Octopie"
"What do Donald Trump and the milk in my fridge have in common? It better get thrown out by November 8 or else I'm going to get violently sick."
"Lesbians build huge mansion in atlanta... It was all tounge and groove, not a single stud in the house. (Construction workers joke, you might not get it)"
"How can you tell when your girlfriend is getting fat? She can wear your wife's clothes."
"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Hippie Barbie ...complete with simulated controlled substances and paraphernalia"
"Why did the banjo player get into heaven? The devil has standards."
"If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn on your head-lights what happens?"
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