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Joke of the Day

"My father had cancer and he had only 3 months to live. By the end, he ended up surprising everyone. He died in one month."

"Nothing says you married into the wrong damn family like your mother in-law crashing your honeymoon."

"Just read an amazing book called ""Zero Gravity"" I couldn't put it down!"

"Why do Chinese people love NY? Because they heard we sell hotdogs for $0.75 each."

"Get in the van! me?...*winks* OK, It will be unpleasant, but worth it- hey! Where are you going?! *jogs after van*"

"What is the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? On a porcupine, all the pricks are on the outside!"

"Police say Oscar Pistorius is a flight risk. How? Does he also have a pair of propeller feet?"

"Parenting a baby is like an etch-a-sketch drawing. You must be careful, but if you mess up just shake the shit out of it and make a new one."

"I remember... when I used to be really nostalgic. Those were the days."

"Old, but gold A woman goes to the market. She says to the greengrocer: ""I would like to purchase a cucumber"" The vendor answers: ""Buy two, so you can eat one"""