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Joke of the Day
"My kids had a shirt made for me that says 'father of the year 2014 quarter finalist'."
Next Joke
"What state makes exclusively swiss cheese? Swisconsin."
"My landlord just called and said my neighbors just complained about all the loud freaky sex they are hearing from my house... So now I'm on my way to buy some headphones for my laptop..."
"Walk into a pawn shop with a ponytail & a handlebar mustache & they treat you like Ray Liotta walking thru that restaurant in Goodfellas"
"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number, you wouldn't have heard of it"
"Big bad wolf says to LittleRedRidingHood: Ho-ho-ho - I'm going to eat you all up! LittleRedRidingHood says: ""Eat, eat, eat. Doesn't anyone wanna fuck anymore?"""
"I'm in a joint World Cup/NCAA Bracket pool. I have Portugal/Wofford/Belize/Kansas/Mexico/Wofford/Qatar in my Sweet Seven."
"This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she's never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf."
"What do you get when you cross a white cow with mad cow disease and a grizzly bear? A bi-polar bear."
"No thank you GPS.I have this magic ring on my left hand that connects me to the nice young lady in the passenger's seat who knows everything"