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Joke of the Day

"A group of sex toy manufacturers are discussing the success of their products... and they decided that only dildos had really achieved market penetration."

"Remember kids -- it may be illegal to text and drive; but you can still lawfully handwrite someone a heartfelt letter at 50mph."

"My boss told me: ""Dress for the job you want..."" so there will be a stormtrooper at tomorrow morning's meeting."

"I wonder if Jeremy Irons ever quietly laughs to himself while he's ironing."

"I had a dream I was in a part of the US that was filled with nothing but museums. It was State of the Art."

"Did you hear about Draymond Green's new comedy road show? It's like Gallagher, but instead of watermelons he only smashes kiwis."

"A notorious card sharp was found dead last night. He'd been clubbed on the heart with a diamond spade."

"My friend stole my capacitor I told him that wasn't farad all"

"Professional wrestler name: Office Max. Signature move: Three Hole Punch."

"I like giving names to my furniture Right now i'm chillin' with Oscar the Couch"