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Joke of the Day

"50/50- What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick."

"34% stats on reddit are made up. . . Like your love life."

"What's the best lake to go motorboating? Lake Titicaca"

"Why did the Scarecrow lose the debate? ""All he had was a straw-man argument."""

"Customer: Can someone else serve us? Me:? C:I don't want my children exposed to the sin of your tattoos. M: Satan wants their tiny souls."

"What do you call a Japanese suicide bomber? Wasabi"

"I'm going to shave my beard. Her legs will look #FAAAABULOUUUUUS!"

"I couldn't figure out why my data wasn't coming out like my classmate's, until I realized I dropped a square root in the formula. I put it back in and re-plotted the data. I saw a radical change."

"Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant? Right before the tanks were full he would pull out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car."

"What did the two vegan strangers say to each other? Nothing. They didn't meat."