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Joke of the Day

"Boss says, ""its the 3rd time you've been late this week! Do you know what that means??"" Me, ""err... It's Wednesday?"""

"Came downstairs to find my 85 year old mum watching the TV Me:"" Why are you watching Thatcher's funeral?"" Mum: ""Just to make sure"""

"Rick Astley Will Lend You... Any of the Pixar films in his movie collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up."

"Text from my nana: ""What is a diss track?"" Don't worry about it u prune gash"

"Where do super-villains get their coffee? DUN-DUN-DUUUNNNNkin Donuts."

"I don't know what Germany's favorite letter is but I can definitely tell you it's... Not C."

"Why don't Superman's farts smell? Because krypton gas is odourless."

"One is the loneliest number. Seven is kinda racist. Nine needs to just come out already. Four drinks to forget. Three is angry, so so angry."

"What's the difference between a penis and a criminal? Well a penis gets hard, but a criminal does HARD time!"

"I don't think I'm racist but... ...the KKK all look the same to me"