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Joke of the Day

"All subjects can be funny with the right delivery, Except abortion jokes. Which by definition have no delivery."

"I don't know why I still tell ""just the tip"" jokes. I'm not even that into them."

"I like my coffee like I like my ships. Full of semen."

"Satan: you can spend eternity in hell OR you can go to work for the first time in 5 days. Me: hmmm Satan: well? Me: IM THINKING, DAMN IT"

"I've never literally been tortured but I have walked behind old people when I was in a hurry."

"Why doesn't a chicken wear underwear? Because his pecker is on his face!"

"Quitting smoking is easy. I've done it three times now."

"Got head from a Midget last night... I guess you could say I was blown out of proportion..."

"Why can't you find good quality clothing on the Iron Islands? They do not sew"

"What do the Titanic and The Toronto Maple Leafs have in common... They both look great until they hit the ice."