157396

Joke of the Day

"All subjects can be funny with the right delivery, Except abortion jokes. Which by definition have no delivery."

"I for one, like Roman Numerals"

"My problem with self-deprecation... is that I suck at it."

"A friend of mine is going to cosmetology school... I told her all the tests will be make-up exams."

"A man gets into an argument with his wife... ...and wins."

"What dog do other dogs tell their problems to? A complaint Bernard!"

"I like my women with curves. Lots and lots of curves. In a sort of spiral shape, maybe with ketchup. Curly fries. I like curly fries"

"When folks unfollow me shortly after they've followed me I just figure they sobered up."

"What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese"

"Literally no one wants to be on the phone with you less than the lady who answers the phone at a Chinese restaurant."