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Joke of the Day

"So, would you ever tell anybody if you woke naked in the middle of the woods, hung over with a sore ass? Wanna go camping?"

"I put a tiny bow tie on a ladybug so you could tell he was a male. It looks adorable except for he's dead now."

"Why shoudn't you take you Pokemon cards to the shower? Cuz Pikachu might Pik a Chu"

"Hats off to those people brave enough to wear those silly New Years hats at work. No... I meant take your hats off. You look stupid."

"There is no such thing as Internet stalking. Stalking requires physical activity. Fun activity like softly brushing your hair at night Sarah"

"I'm not really a social drinker. I'd say most of my drinking is work related."

"Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!"

"Why don't whales eat sushi very often? Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth."

"You can tell a lot about a person based on what they use as a gender-neutral singular pronoun."

"""Hey kids! What be a pirates favorite letter?"" -""Arrrrrrrrrrrr?"" -""No! His first love be the 'C'!"" (Just saw it on iamarg.com)"