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Joke of the Day

"Why is Darth Vader black? Because he left his son."

"Boss asked if I was ready for more responsibility. I'm eating around a sticker on an apple cause I'm too lazy to peel it off so I guess no."

"I love my cats so much, I love that I get to have these two tiny killing machines cuddled up in bed with me"

"LGBTQ stands for... LGBTQ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and I think... queer, which is strange."

"Who would still buy a Note 7 after all the controversy? A Muslim"

"I like my problems like i like my women Constantly following me"

"Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get the chinese newspaper. Do you get it??? No??? Me neither, I get the Daily News."

"So I shot an elephant in my pajamas.. How he got into my pajamas, I'll never know."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Just kidding, feminists don't change anything"

"What's the difference between a women's track team and a bunch of African pygmies? The African pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts. The women's track team are a bunch of running cunts."