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Joke of the Day

"Crocodile: ""See ya later alligator."" Alligator: ""yeah, I don't do that anymore Jeff."""

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer? Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'"

"I started a business selling landmines that resemble prayer mats. Prophets are through the roof."

"What the difference between a feminist and a knife? A knife has a point."

"Cat: Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk... **Coughs up hairball** Dog: You gonna eat that?"

"As a man in his 70s I still manage to have sex with my wife almost every day... Almost Monday, almost Tuesday...."

"i need to stop imagining scenarios in my head that have a -2% chance of actually happening it's becoming a problem"

"#ExplainAFilmPlotBadly A raccoon and a tree commit multiple felonies"

"An atheist, a crossfitter, a vegan and a vaper all walk into a bar I know because they all let me know 12 times in our 3 minute conversation"

"Not only was my brother not mad when I backed into his Porsche, he even invited me camping and said to bring a shovel. Whew!"