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Joke of the Day

"""To infinity (bed, bath) and beyond!"" - Buzz Lightyear settles down"

"Puns are the only form of humor where a groan is high praise and a laugh is a fair attempt. Well, that and sex."

"A man goes into a library asking for a book on suicide... The librarian says ""F*** off, you won't bring it back."""

"MOM DON'T COME IN!! *mom opens door & you're playing with pokemon, except they're real* HOW MUCH OF THE TRUTH ARE YOU READY TO HEAR MOM"

"Why did Henry VIII fail his classes? Because he lost all his Tudors."

"Hand 2 toddlers a poisoned cookie and tell them not to eat it, then leave for a day. Some would call that stupid. The Bible calls it Genesis"

"What did the feminist Jedi say to Darth Tyrannus? ""Check your Force privileges, Sith Lord!"""

"You know what the worst part is about dating a Japanese girl? If I ever decide to break up with her I will have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message"

"Everybody hates Crocs but the company is worth over $2 billion. Somebody is lying."

"Why does the easter bunny hide all the eggs? Because he doesnt want anybody to know he is fucking the chicken."