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Joke of the Day

"""To infinity (bed, bath) and beyond!"" - Buzz Lightyear settles down"

"Why do black people put their garbage in clear trash bags? So the Mexicans can window shop."

"hi What did the painter say to the paint can? A lot of good you are . (the joke is that the paint can is empty)"

"Bought one of those tennis racket looking bug zappers today. My god, where have you been all my life. What fun! Oooh, here comes the dog...."

"you know how in movies the women always wake up with hair and makeup already done? I wake up like that but with a top hat&full tuxedo"

"A policeman sees two boys, one with batteries, the other with fireworks He charges the first boy and lets the other off."

"need a last minute valentine's day gift for that special lady? why not give her the timeless gift of my phone number"

"In baseball, why does it take longer to get from second to third than any other bases? Because there's a short stop in between."

"If you don't wear ear protection, do you run the risk of getting Hearing AIDS?"

"I asked a homeless woman if I could take her home. She shyly said yes.... so I took her cardboard box and left."