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Joke of the Day

"you know how in movies the women always wake up with hair and makeup already done? I wake up like that but with a top hat&full tuxedo"

"I just lost my virginity! And so did my 6-year old sister."

"What's the easiest sport to get into? Limbo. They don't set the bar very high."

"The Galaxy is the greatest rapper alive. It rhymes in universes. :)"

"I like my women like I like my coffee.... Black and full of semen."

"So I hear there is going to be a sequel to Lawrence of Arabia It's going to be called Lawrence of Two Rabias."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I wouldn't pay to have a garbanzo bean on my chest"

"Chop, chop! - Chop, chop! - Who's there? - Han. - Han who? - Hannibal."

"When I get in a crowded elevator I can't stop myself from trying to guess everybody's weight."

"Such bullshit that people stop saying ""You ate it all! Good job!"" once you reach a certain age"