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Joke of the Day

"you know how in movies the women always wake up with hair and makeup already done? I wake up like that but with a top hat&full tuxedo"

"Your LinkedIn says you have a job but your snapchat says otherwise."

"This girl just said, ""You know that feeling you get when you really really like someone?"" and I was all like, ""Nope."" and walked away."

"What do you call a Gay Dinosaur? A Megasaurus"

"The worst part about breaking up right before Halloween is now I have to explain at every party why I'm dressed as half of a horse."

"A midget, who was a self proclaimed psychic, escaped prison today. Now he is a small medium at large."

"in an era of declining male friendship, the rap crew is a more appealing concept than ever"

"Boy-Girl Boy: The principal is so dumb! Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No... Girl: I am the principal's daughter! Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No... Boy: Good! *walks away*"

"What do you call a Jewish Pokemon Trainer ASH"

"I heard it took at least two elephants to make the keys on my antique piano I had no idea they were capable of such delicate work."