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Joke of the Day

"ESPN First Take - Patriots' Players Question Rex Ryan's Defense"

"I talk a lot of shit for someone who still uses their fingers to count."

"I got this ""breathe"" tattoo because I don't have a central nervous system and it's a helpful reminder."

"What should you do if you find the corpse of a raped woman in the woods? Check your bearings, you're going in circles."

"How does a farmer count cows? with a cow-calculator."

"Stretching and yawning at the same time might not look so sexy but it looks like you're a Pokemon evolving so that's cool."

"What do nearsighted gynecologists and a puppy have in common? A wet nose."

"The most realistic part of Harry Potter is how he goes to a school where he learns skills he can't use in the real world."

"I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode... I asked, Are you two an item?"

"If babies named Todd don't call themselves ""The Toddler"" then what's the point of having a douchebag baby name like Todd?"