88515

Joke of the Day

"I got this ""breathe"" tattoo because I don't have a central nervous system and it's a helpful reminder."

"I used to be terrible at Valentines' Day too... But then I took an arrow in the knee."

"How do Australians ask their friends to pass the Coffee Mate :("

"What's the difference between a tennis ball and the prince of Wales? One is heir to the throne and the other is thrown into the air."

"A fart is just a turd honking for the right of way. Yep"

"I smoke pot because I have a very serious problem. I have this medical condition where I don't realize how good poptarts taste. Source: Sarah Silverman"

"""excuse me, (Chinese couple at the next table,) I seem to have forgotten my calculator, can I borrow your toddler?"""

"I think I'm going to vote for Trump He did prove his penis is bigger than Hillary's"

"When I get a lot of Myspace requests my fax machine goes crazy."

"Swans mate for life...in case you were wondering what made them so mean."