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Joke of the Day

"17: If I was gay would you still love me? Me: Of course. 17: If I committed crimes? Me: Yes. 17: If I voted for Trump- Me: Dead to me."

"I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday. He said, ""Have you ever shoed a horse?"" I said, ""No, but I've told a donkey to fuck off."""

"she died doing what she loved: looking at her phone while crossing the street"

"What's a cats favorite Mexican dish? A purr-rito"

"Me: Is there any particular way you don't want your name pronounced? Percy: Not per se"

"Ever since I was a kid I had always wanted to be a door to door salesman... But then I found it's a hard knock life"

"I had a friend who thoroughly hated music... He left no tone unspurned."

"If I see under 30s getting married, I want to kiss them for their optimism and punch them for their stupidity."

"I can convert alcohol into an idiot"

"I'm on a seafood diet I sea food and I eat it."