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Joke of the Day

"I'm on a seafood diet I sea food and I eat it."

"Did you here the one about the midget that finally admitted he was gay? He came out of the cupboard."

"I miss the good old days when boot camp was for soldiers, not pudgy sorority girls attempting to get in shape for Spring Break."

"Hitler pun ""Sir, we're mining too many useless minerals."" Hitler: ""So mine less."" Grammar Nazi busts in. ""MINE FEWER."" (Hitler looks up) ""Yes?"""

"[tied up by the mafia] any last requests? ""yes, let me go"" [still gets killed despite finding a loophole cuz the mafia arent very nice]"

"What do porn stars and prostitutes say when they wake up in the morning? Time to suck today's dick!"

"Celine Dion is an organ donor... So when she dies, her heart will go on."

"So it's the first day of shop class... The teacher asks, ""What's the difference between a nail, a screw, and a bolt?"" A girl raises her hand and says, ""I don't know. I've never been bolted before."""

"So. Like. We're all just gonna ignore the rapture that's supposed to happen?"

"My friends hate me because I make too many Linkin Park references. but in the end it doesn't even matter."