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Joke of the Day
"Why is there a bucket of shit at an Italian wedding? To keep the flies off of the bride."
Next Joke
"Who is the most popular guy in a swingers' club? The guy who can carry a dozen doughnuts without using his hands. Who's the most popular woman? The one who can get the last one without using hers."
"I'm scheduled for a vasectomy next Wednesday, but I am a little worried. I hear it can make a vas deferens in my sex life."
"She was only a lumberjack's daughter ... ... but she always gave me wood."
"pizza is my favorite winter activity"
"When your great-grandchildren call you racist for thinking all monkeys look the same."
"A woman is like a shadow: when you walk from behind she runs away. When you run from her follows you behind."
"""Move miss, please get out of the way. Please get out of the way, miss. Please get out of the way.""- Ludacris's cousin, Kurteous"
"7yo: Let's not talk ALL day today 6yo: Ok! Me: *holy shit yessss* 7yo: LET'S ONLY WHISTLE AND CLAP INSTEAD Me: Right. Of course."
"Knock knock... Who's there? I did up. I did up-who?"