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Joke of the Day

"I'd like to think that halfway through Nicole Kidman's last name there's a tiny bar mitzvah."

"What did the Mexican carpeting salesman yell to promote his business? Underlay! Underlay!"

"Speech Joke. Why shouldn't you eye-fuck someone? Because there is a chance you will get visual aids."

"""911, please help im dying"" Good cop: help is on the way Bad cop: just suck it up and be a man Dad cop: hi dying, im dad"

"What comes between fear and sex? funf"

"[For enemies] You know the difference between you and I? You came out of your mom. I came in her."

"""Man I hate tacos!"" Said no Juan ever."

"A friend of mine is really into A Tribe Called Quest... ... I'd buy him an album, but I left my wallet in El Segundo."

"What happened when Bluto went to Mount Olive? Popeye got pissed"

"I heard it was medically impossible for a quack doctor to make me straight But my chiropractor managed to realign my spine. He was kinda cute too."