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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an incredibly flexible chicken with an alien wristwatch? Bent Hen."

"How do you make a venetian blind? Poke his eyes out Credits go to my 90 year old grandfather, currently completing his PhD"

"Doctor: Did you take the patient's temperature? Nurse: No. Is it missing?"

"I wont play GI Joes with my nephew until he learns to play it right. He's 4 years old, he should know better than to drag Vader into this."

"My Social Life 404"

"So I asked my Dad, ""What was on Grandpa's mind when he had that aneurysm?"" ""Probably a tumor."""

"I don't have a girlfriend.. I just know someone that would be really mad if they ever heard me say that"

"What's the difference between a lobster with boobs and a filthy bus stop? One's a busty crustacean while the other's a crusty bus station."

"What would the Pilsbury Doughboy be if photos of him were constantly being put on magazine covers? A roll model."

"BREAKING NEWS Justin Bieber said... And I quote, ""Only God can Judge me!"" THIS JUST IN ...Apparently I'm God."