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Joke of the Day

"Today is the anniversary of legal abortions in the US or as the coat hanger industry calls it, Black Friday."

"A communist tells his friend before going to bed, ""I'm going to take a nap."" He wakes up as a libertarian."

"Can't believe my daughter said I was embarrassing her by trying to be cool. She needs to check the tude & stop being so wiggity wiggity wack"

"I'm still confused as to why I was arrested for stabbing the starbucks barista in the face when she didn't know what a large coffee was."

"I'm Torn on the Issue of Abortion.... On one hand, I support it because it is killing babies. On the other hand, it gives women a choice. Credit goes where credit's due, /u/DJ-Salinger"

"A cop pulls a guy over for speeding on a slow day Cop: ""I've been waiting for you all day."" Driver: ""Sorry, officer. I got here as fast as I could."""

"What do you call a criminal dwarf on an escalator? A little con-descending"

"I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me."

"Why do Ethiopian women give the best blowjobs? You know they'll swallow"

"""Hey babe, you smell that?"" ""No."" ""Me neither, start cooking."