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Joke of the Day

"A man is being arrested by a female police officer The officer informs him, ""Anything you say can and will be held against you."" &nbsp; The man replies, ""Boobs!"""

"How did the telephones get married ? In a double ring ceremony !"

"*Deletes 34 unheard voicemail messages from phone. *Adds ""extremely organized"" to resume."

"A Priest and a Rabbi are sitting on a Bench... and they see a group of young boys walk by. The Priest says ""Do you want to fuck those kids?"" The Rabbi says ""Out of what?"""

"I just held the door open for an Asian guy. He said, ""Sank you,"" so I punched him in the face. I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that."

"[After date, walking her to her door] Her: Thanks. I would invite you in, but I don't want to."

"If you want to piss off a fat person, just date their ex. They hate when someone messes with their leftovers"

"I sexually identify as an attack helicopter. Because I explode on impact."

"A man is hospitalized after a serious accident Following his surgery, he says, ""Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"" The doctor says, ""I know. I amputated your arms."""

"What do bunnies do when they get married? Go on a bunnymoon"