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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a donkey with a jar of peanut butter? A piece of ass that sticks to the roof of your mouth!"

"Did you hear about the Quasimodo look alike contest? The police had to break it up when the crowd turned ugly."

"An old black man goes to his vasectomy wearing a tuxedo... ...his doctor asks him ""Why are you wearing a tuxedo?"" The man responds ""If I'm going to be im-po-tant, I want to look im-po-tant!"""

"JOCKEY: ""Watch me whip"" HORSE: ""Watch me neigh neigh"""

"I have a new word for vibrator ... selfie stick"

"KAREN ADDISON: CHEAP DATE He took me to McDonald's, backed his car through the drive-through window, so the cashier could be on my side."

"This guy just climbed through a thicket of waist-high shrubbery to avoid walking past me. That's the kind of anti-social I aspire to be."

"What you call toes that taste like mint? Tic-tac-toe! My 8 year old daughter made this one up."

"So I got a nose job last Tuesday... It's amazing what hookers will do if you tip them. (Original joke)"

"I crashed into a dwarf at some traffic lights He got out of his car and said ""I'm not happy."" I replied, ""Well, which one are you then?"""