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Joke of the Day

"A Mexican magician says... ...that he'll disappear on the count of three. ""Uno... dos..."" **POOF!!** He disappeared without a tres."

"I hate it when people say I'm sexist. How can I be sexist when I'm half female on my mother's side?"

"Glad the lady in front of me decided at the last second to stop at the yellow light as I prefer to eat my fries from the dashboard."

"What's the difference between Preston Coach Terminal and a lobster with 34e breasts? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean."

"I went to my dad and asked him... Me: hey dad will you watch a movie I'm going to cast in Dad : no Me: why? Dad: I don't watch porn"

"A dog made out of diamonds is everyone's best friend."

"How many r/jokes redditors does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer is 2. One to change the lightbulb while the other screams ""REPOST"""

"Vegan pizza.... is basically just the box."

"Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way, but his food will become a pizza history."

"What's the difference between a piano, glue, and a tuna? You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna (What about the glue?) I knew you'd get stuck on that"