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Joke of the Day

"I made fun of a lady swaddling her dog in a blanket and she overheard and turns out it wasn't a dog it was her baby hey have a great Monday."

"When Tom Cruise is driving, he says ""Now in Cruise Control!"" with this stupid smirk on his face even when there's no one else in the car."

"The Snooze Button: because your first act of the day should be procrastination."

"I got stuck in a tornado once It sucked"

"A guy is fucking his sister... she says ""it's weird you fuck like dad"" and he answers ""yeah that's what mom said too""."

"What are the two biggest lies a man will ever tell? 1. The check is in the mail 2. I promise I won't cum in your mouth."

"The actress that played Anne Frank in the Anne |Frank story was so bad..... That the scene where the Nazis entered the stage and said ""where is she"" the audience shouted ""she's in the attic""."

"What is a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C."

"Dallas Cowboys Why do you have to repeat things you say to Dez Bryant? He doesn't always catch it the first time."

"Remember being a kid and writing ""FiretrUCK"" everywhere, thinking your parents wouldn't get it? My dad just figured it out and spanked me :("