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Joke of the Day

"I made fun of a lady swaddling her dog in a blanket and she overheard and turns out it wasn't a dog it was her baby hey have a great Monday."

"Earlier today I had a Titanic thought. It was *unthinkable*."

"Someone told me it was as easy as pie It never ended"

"Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store."

"What adjective do you use to describe a bad pun? Pungent"

"How do you convert Spanish programming into English? Yes++"

"I once lost my watch at a party... I saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, and punched him in the nose. No one does that to a girl... Not on my watch."

"*ties husband's hands to headboard* *turns out lights* *opens laptop* ""Welcome to my PowerPoint presentation 'Curtains: How About These?'"""

"After much debate comparing early black communities to modern during all these officer related shootings They have decided water hoses weren't so bad"

"I've been staring at this bench press for 3 days now and I feel exactly the same. This ""Weight Watchers"" shit is a hoax."