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Joke of the Day

"What do you have if you have one fuzzy, green ball in one hand and another fuzzy, green ball in the other hand? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention."

"What's black and doesn't work? Decaf, you racist sons of bitches."

"What's worse than being stuck in traffic behind a driver that's vaping? Realizing that your being intently watched for your reaction to their sic clouds - BEST RECOGNIZE!"

"Last night I had a dream I was a muffler... And woke up exhausted"

"There is a new car fragrance designed to look like the Joker... The fragrance? Tears of a clown."

"If God wanted me to mow my own lawn, He wouldn't have given me the ability to earn a postgraduate degree."

"Please ignore this tweet, I'm pretending to be adding a coworker's phone number."

"just saw the gorilla thing. what kind of thoughtless, negligent parent would raise their child in ohio"

"TIL King George III had a strong distaste for The Colonies In fact he found them revolting."

"""There's no I in TEAM,"" he yells. ""There's no COACH in LOCKER ROOM,"" I respond. He leaves in stunned silence, and is never seen again."