156522

Joke of the Day

"Co-worker insists on talking with his mouth full. No one can ever understand him. Wish we had a dentist was in the house to interpret."

"I think I made a good joke Donald Trump"

"They say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea... Does that mean that the other one enjoys it?"

"Jokes in English Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"Tomorrow you should turn back our clocks one hour. for Daylight Saving Time Unless you're Arabic, in which case you should set it forward 14 centuries."

"""Florence + the Machine"" would be a funny name for a Leonardo da Vinci biopic. Follow this account for more goodass Renaissance tweets"

"For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain."

"What do you call an Austrian woman's undergarments? A Freudian Slip."

"A gentleman never eats his soup by soaking it into his tie and squeezing it out into his mouth"

"I was people would stop asking where I see myself in 5 years... I don't have 2020 vision"