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Joke of the Day

"If I ever want to hide something from my husband I'd put it in the dishwasher- he'd never look in there"

"There is a band called 1023 MB. They haven't had any gigs yet though."

"I like my coffee how I like my slaves Carrying loads of sugar."

"My husband still talks about that one time he loaded the dishwasher correctly like it's going to get our kids into Harvard."

"I've only just realised that Saturday contains the word 'turd'. How marvelous."

"*Does something bad* Mom: *tells the entire family, tweets, posts on Facebook, blogs, tells people in china*"

"[Batman at McDonald's] What's your chicken sandwich called? -A McChicken And the rib? -A McRib [pulls out his batwallet] I like your style."

"What does the handyman who has no legs wear on his head? The handycap."

"What's the only thing that doesn't make Hilary suck? Bill"

"[1st date] HER: I'm such a nerd! I love when a guy talks sciency HIM: Oh haha [to waiter] A salad with umm *sweating* kilo-island dressing"