204220
Joke of the Day
"Not sure why people ask what I'll be doing in 5 years, it's not like I have 2020 vision"
Next Joke
"If my wife made whiskey, I'd love her still."
"What kind of jokes does a priest tell? Dad jokes"
"I just burnt 1200 calories... I forgot the pizza in the oven. : /"
"Six words that strike fear in the hearts of parents everywhere: You've been volunteered as a chaperone"
"How many illegals will it take to build Trump's wall? Too many to document."
"DON'T ARGUE WITH ME I READ THE HEADLINE OF AN ARTICLE I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT"
"Did you hear what happened to the girl once she went vegan? Her hair turned black."
"My daughter gets all bossy when we're playing with her Barbies, but I just smile. Then when she's at school I play with them the way I want."
"LIFE HACK: If you want to remember something write it upside down on the back of your underwear waistband. You'll see it when you're pooping"