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Joke of the Day

"wonder why's theres a pizza laying here in the middle of the woods *eats it* *dies 82 years later* dammit it was a trap"

"Why does Bill Cosby carry around a nutcracker everywhere he goes? So he can bust a nut without having to rape anybody."

"I'm listening to U2 acapella recordings. Just needed to take The Edge off"

"How many professional soccer players does it take to change a light bulb? Six. One to change the bulb, and five to hug and kiss him."

"Why did the farmer call his horse Baseball? Because it's covered with horsehide!"

"I named my hard drive ""dat ass""... Once a month, my computer asks if I want to 'back dat ass up'."

"This is a math joke So x^2 goes to a x^3 and asks, do you believe in god. For a moment the x^3 pauses before responding, you know what, I do believe in higher powers."

"How to pass the Bechdel Test ""Oh my God, Becky, look at her butt."""

"Jesse James married my sister. He's know my brother out-law"

"I'm a 40 yr old man sitting at a Cafe with my eyes closed, squirting packets of mayo from under the table at the window as people walk by."