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Joke of the Day

"How many professional soccer players does it take to change a light bulb? Six. One to change the bulb, and five to hug and kiss him."

"Coworker said 'nice pink shirt, when did you come out?' I said 'IT'S NOT PINK IT'S SALMON!'. Then I snapped my fingers and skipped away."

"Don't judge. Maybe I'm conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don't know."

"What's the difference between a lawyer and whore? The lawyer can't guarantee to get you off."

"Why does the devil get such a bad rap? Because like everyone in marketing, he always lets his own stuff slide..."

"I used to forget time with you. Now, I'll just forget you with time."

"Why do black people call each other ""son""? Well, you never know!"

"""Crocodile after awhile."" - Yoda"

"Friend's Fb post: In search of a coat hanger My comment: Are you pregnant or are you locked out of your car? I've been on Twitter too long"

"What do you call a policewoman who hasn't shaved for a week? Constable"