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Joke of the Day

"What is DJ Khaled's favorite fraction? 1/9. Because, after the decimal, it's always another one."

"The best way to eat a salad is to order a pizza instead."

"I think Diane knows I was her Secret Santa at this morning's office party, because this afternoon I had to borrow my stapler back from her."

"What do you call people who use the pull out method as form of birth control? Parents."

"I hate corporate lingo. Stuff like ""core competency"" or ""design out the problem"" or ""I'm gonna need you to go ahead and do some work today"""

"Sorry I said your cat was ugly. Oh, and sorry for thinking your baby was a cat."

"What's black and smells like Shiraz? Tyrone Lannister"

"What did the 80 grit sandpaper say to the 36 grit sandpaper? You're a little rougher than I'm used to, but I'll grit and bear it. I'm sorry, that joke was a little rough ;D"

"TIP: if ur worried about the airworthiness of the plane you're on offer it a chip. If it eats it you're on a seagull. Disembark immediately"

"Apparently ""You probably don't hear this a lot, but I think you're quite attractive"" isn't a very good pickup line."