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Joke of the Day

"Racism is for lazy people who don't take the time to learn enough about someone to dislike them for a much better reason."

"Table for six please? ""Is your party coming soon or?"" [Takes 4 turtles and a rat out from coat] I'm going to need booster seats"

"I bought my wife a new dress A really slinky number But it only works when shes going down stairs"

"BREAKING: Man arrested for owning a waterbed. Police reported that ""it's not really illegal, but a waterbed in 2014? That's just creepy."""

"I read a story about a guy who cried while pleasuring himself. It was a real tear jerker."

"When someone tries to tell me they can't do something, I'm like ""you ever hear of the Power of Grayskull?"""

"""She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts."" -Romans 1:15"

"How many immigrants does donald trump need to change a lightbulb? None because no juan will be left to change it"

"16 sodium atoms walks into a bar.... followed by Batman."

"Linda from the office calls it a shawl but I know a shitty cape when I see one."