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Joke of the Day

"I Can control sheep just by listening to them I herd it with my own ears"

Next Joke
 
"I just patented a new device that allows you to pee while watching a movie... It's called the ""Catheater""."
"I don't understand men who can pull off facial hair why don't they just use a razor?"
"Understand men, or die trying. Or try dying. Or quit trying. Or lie crying. Or cry tweeting. Or tweet trying, to understand men."
"Complimented Taylor Swift on her shirt yesterday and now she's in a tree outside my window with a guitar and a wedding dress. Send.Help.Now."
"How can you tell when your drowning in milk? When it gets pasteurise."
"Hey Nikon, just a friendly heads-up here... NOBODY gives one single fuck what camera Ashton Kutcher uses."
"What do Dracula's girlfriend and Mike Tyson have in common? They both go down for the count!!"
"What does a sheepdog say when he sees something shady going down? ""Let's get the flock out of here"""
"What is the best thing to take when you're run over? The number of the car that hit you."