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Joke of the Day

"I Can control sheep just by listening to them I herd it with my own ears"

"There are starving kids in Africa. IHOP has a ""Kids Eat Free"" promotion. Just build an IHOP in Africa. Problem solved."

"I just did all the math and it turns out that girls have tweeted ""Sushi time!"" on 4,362,622,021 different occasions."

"I went to this restaurant on the beach in Florida and ordered something called the Pelican Burger. It was good, but the bill was enormous."

"Whats the difference between a cockpit and a condom? you can only get one prick into a condom -Fight Club"

"Mother: Did you make your bed today? Daughter: Yes Mom but I think it would be easier to buy one."

"What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack*, ""Darn!"" A skydiver goes ""Darn!"" *whack*"

"I never get invited to search parties."

"You know what West Virginians say about dating, don't you? The closer the kin, the better the skin."

"I'm like the lemon seed that sinks to the bottom of your water glass and then shoots up your straw unexpectedly, trying to choke you."