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Joke of the Day
"""EYES! EYES, BABYYYYYYY!"" - zombie Vanilla Ice, snacking."
Next Joke
"Four Worst Feelings Ever: 4. Losing your job 3. Romantic break up 2. Death of a loved one 1. Needing to pee when you're stuck in traffic"
"What do you call a very small villain? The Antagonist"
"What presidential candidate currently has a beard? Hillary Clinton."
"Leaving church just now, the priest shakes my hand and says ""Love your neighbor"" I said ""Me too Father, she's got some tits, huh!??"""
"Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing"
"My grandpa told me his secret of how he would pick up Jewish girls in Auschwitz so easily. He used a broom & dustpan."
"What do you call a random complaint in Star Wars? A General Grievance."
"Love is like a unicorn. I don't have a unicorn."
"[Olympic Swimming] CANADIAN ANNOUNCER: I feel bad for the water look how hard they're kicking it."