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Joke of the Day

"What separates man from animals? According to Donald Trump, the wall he is going to build."

"*adult mutant ninja turtles sit in the kitchen doing taxes* you guys wanna smoke a joint? ""were not teens anymore dude"" *donatello sobs*"

"Amsterdam is a lot like the Tour de France. It's just a lot of people on drugs riding bikes."

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong WALKED on the moon. Michael Jackson fucked little boys."

"I was reading in the paper today about a midget that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?"

"Five out of four people Have a problem with fractions"

"I'm giving up eating food off the floor for Lent"

"Little monster: Mom Mom what's for tea? Mother monster: Shut up and get back in the microwave."

"Couple kissing on the road A Kid On His Way To Home With His Mom Saw A Couple Kissing On The Road, He Suddenly Shouted & Said: Look Mom look, that boy and girl Are Fighting For A Chewing GUM."

"I know a hooker downtown that charges by the inch. I can't afford her, but you probably could. *(one-liner from the old guy that delivers stock to my work.)*"