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Joke of the Day

"""Phone Call to My Dad"" feat. My Mom Yelling Things at Me in the Background"

"Did you hear The Pentagon was actually supposed to be an octagon? but they hired a government contractor that cut corners"

"My Grandma said I have the voice for the radio... And the face for it too."

"A coworker just asked me how I stay so thin so I responded ""I don't post pictures of my food online"" and I think she believed me."

"A baby seal walks into a club. ...while two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bah-dum-tsssssss."

"The number of things I feel compelled to sniff before I buy, is slightly embarrassing."

"Tell her you already got her gift, & ask her to try & guess. Then go buy something she guessed. Shopping made easy."

"Why do black people where baggy pants? 'Cause they're knee grows!"

"What did the power ranger-turned-addict say? It's morphine time!"

"The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don't have."